dearmoneyfinal

Recently I had breakfast with two of my closest friends and we talked about money. All three of us have been on interesting and challenging creative adventures over the past 10 years and have felt the struggle financially.

This past year I made a commitment to myself to be more vulnerable and authentic. You may remember my post just about a year ago “I Failed in 2016!”

While we were talking about money I remember a story my wife told me from a workshop she recently attended. A woman at the talk shared how she too struggled with her relationship with money, so she decided to write a letter to it.

Brilliant!

So, I decided to do the same. Later that morning after the breakfast with my friends I sat down and wrote this from my stream of consciousness. I have shared it with a few people and they all agreed I should share it, so here it is. This will not be my last letter to money. We may become pen pals. I hope money knows how to write.

If this resonates with you, now you know you are not alone. If it doesn’t, just replace the word “money” for any relationship in your life you are struggling with. It’s all the same. If you have answers and solutions…just keep them to yourself. This is not a call for help. Although if you are booking me for an event, talk, or training, by all means reach out.

So here you go…

Click here to listen on iTunes.

Dear Money,

First of all, I need to apologize. I am sorry.

For years I have been blaming you for so many things that are not your fault, and in the process, I have created a divide between the two of us.

Again, none of this has been your fault. It is all me.

Growing up you were always there. I had more of you than I needed, but the problem is, I didn’t think you were mine. My dad was earning a lot of you, and a result I reaped the benefits. So, your presence allowed me to have many things growing up, but I never felt worthy that I earned it. I just happened to be the recipient of being born into the right family.

As a kid growing up I never felt special. To have more of you it seemed that you needed to be gifted in certain areas, be it intelligence, creativity, or athletics. I didn’t feel gifted in any of those areas, nor did I see myself with this personality style for going out and outworking everyone else in order to earn a lot of you. So, as a result, I just hoped you would come my way.

That is where I have been. I keep hoping you will grace me with your kindness or pity. Why, because ultimately I guess I have felt unworthy of your abundance. Therein seems to be the real issue. When I look at the traditional ways of earning more of you I just haven’t seen my place in those roles, so as a result, I have struggled to welcome you into my life.

And here is the thing…you are right there ready to come into my life when I open the door, but I have kept the door closed making you something that you are not.

I have created stories about you based on how other people have used you. You have been associated with greed, yet you are not greedy. You have been associated with evil, yet you are not evil. You have been associated with corruption, dishonesty, and war, yet you are none of those things.

You just are. You are whatever I have made you, but on your own you are none of those things.

How others choose to use you says nothing of you, and is only a reflection of them. And, how I have chosen to see you says nothing of you and everything to do with me.

So here we are again. I am sorry.

You haven’t come into my life more because even as you have blessed me, it has never felt like enough. I haven’t been grateful for all the ways you have taken care of me. I am always wanting more, feeling the need for more, that I haven’t appreciated what I have already received. So, instead of being ready for more and expecting more, I have focused on there never being enough.

Not anymore.

Now, I am ready for you. I am not scared of you anymore because there is nothing to be afraid of. In fact, I want you and I need you because I want to work with you in order to make the world a better place. I want to use you to bless myself, my family, my community, and the world. I want to share you freely because you were meant to be shared. The illusion would be that you are limited and that there is not enough to go around, but that is not true. There is no limit to your value and reach, and when shared freely you continuously bless others – over and over again!

I am worthy of you because everyone is worthy of you! No one person is more worthy than another. You are there and ready to bless in abundance when I am ready for you, and I am ready. Let’s do this!

There is so much we can do together it is exciting to think about, and I know that the more I value myself the more I will see you in my life. That is what you are there for, to be a reflection of the value we see in ourselves. Of course you are, because when we see value in ourselves we are given the tools and resources to share that value with the world.

I have given you a bad rap because I have made up all of these rules and hoops that need to be jumped through and followed in order for you to flow freely. I know these are all my own story, and they have nothing to do with you. If I think earning you is hard, it will be hard. If I think earning you will be easy, it will be easy. It really is as simple as that.

I also know that changing this history and story I have about you will not be easy. You will be patient with me, and it might not happen overnight (and maybe it will). But I know as my story changes I will begin to see you more and more. The truth is, you will always be there, it is just that I will actually “see” you more as I change my story. Like it has always been, there is nothing you need to do differently. It’s just me.

So thank you money for being you. You are changeless. You are valueless except for the value I give you, and you have always been the reflection of how I see myself.

Thank you for being patient and tolerant of me – and I really look forward to the fun and abundance we are going to spread together!

Much love!

Travis

Travis Thomas social 1

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