The past few days I’ve been in a funk.

My wife reminded me I went through the same thing a year ago…like almost exactly a year ago. Here is the proof!

What the hell?

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For someone who teaches and preaches motivation, inspiration, and positivity – it is a hard space to be in when I find myself struggling with the dark side of thoughts. In full disclosure, it makes me feel like a sham.

But they are real feelings. Whatever “real” means. I catch myself shaking my fist at the heavens, cynically shooting holes in the success of others, and making excuses for my own failures. You know, basically the complete opposite of everything I stand for.

I get up every morning and have a routine of different of things that I read that help me set my intention for the day. Yet, here I was a few mornings ago reading Brian Johnson’s daily e-mail (like I have every day for about 10 years) – and for the first time I thought to myself…”Enough…I get it…you have optimized every aspect of your life! You are successful. You are an awesome guy, businessman, father, husband…person. You are healthy, active, and you have mastered shutting out and down distractions. I will never be that good! I get it. You win Brian!!!!!!!”

Then I began to look at all of the areas of my life where I am not measuring up. Why aren’t I getting booked more? Why has my financial situation not turned around? Why aren’t I healthier, fitter, and more disciplined? When can I exhale a little instead of always worrying about the next job, next bill, next everything?

Am I alone here? Or am I just invalidating my credibility as a performance coach and motivational speaker?

The comparison game is brutal, and dang, it is tough to get out of. Seriously, try this, open your Instagram for 60 seconds and scroll through your feed. Do that now, then keep reading.

Okay, how do you feel? I guarantee you don’t feel better about yourself. Even if you are having a good day, you just got to see at least a dozen other people seeming to have a way better day than you. Come on, what the hell is Tonya doing in Africa? How did Mark get tickets to Hamilton in NYC? Wait, what…Jack got asked to do a TEDx talk?! Jack!? What about me?

I think about my career and wonder what it will take to reach a tipping point? Is there a tipping point? Or is just more years of scratching and floundering, and never getting over the hump?

Am I being the best parent I can be? My wife deserves better. I should have worked harder when I was younger. I was too lazy and spoiled. I don’t deserve good fortune. Why should anyone listen to me? Maybe I’m not as talented as I think?

(BTW…all of this ruminating takes place in about a 15 second time frame.)

Damn the goo! I want the good!

As I lay there in my cocoon, wondering if the goo really does reform into a butterfly, I began to ponder a different question.

In 2017 Travis…did you live your purpose?

And for those of you who don’t know, this is my purpose:

To inspire myself and others to live joyously, peacefully, and triumphantly in YES!

Did I do that in 2017?

I did my best. I really did. I look back at the year and I can reflect on all of the opportunities I got to speak to companies, teams, and individuals – and share my ideas and inspiration. I can’t claim that I am the best in my industry in what I do, but I do know that every time I have an audience I give them the absolute best of who I am. I have never phoned in a presentation because the size of the group, or how much they are paying me. Truth be told, you get the same me whether you pay me $100 or $10,000.

I do know I’ve had a positive impact on people. I get fantastic feedback, whether or not all of that feedback pays the bills. I am given credit for being authentic, sincere, and thoughtful.

In my relationships I think I’ve shown up on purpose. Losing my mom this year was devastating, but I’ll never question my time with her up to the very end. She was my biggest cheerleader and I know the life and choices I have tried to live made her proud. It is her generosity that allows me to keep pursuing the work and career I am committed to. She truly has become my angel investor.

I am not a perfect husband (sorry Hollister), nor a perfect father (sorry Trin, Holland, and Shep). But, they know my purpose and I work to live it bigger and better each day. I am trying to model the mindset and choices that will inspire my kids to live with more courage, joy, and freedom. They test my patience, but never my love.

Even though I keep getting sucked into quantifying my value and worth by my professional success…I know that I am living my purpose.

Live Yes, And might never take off. I may never become a wildly successful speaker, trainer, and motivator. I might never get that Tesla, appear on Ellen, or have a sit down with Oprah.

But, I am on purpose. If you know me, work with me, or our paths cross, my purpose is to inspire you to live more peacefully, joyously, and triumphantly.

If I have done that, I have done enough. So Travis, just keeping focusing on purpose!

I’ll trust love to take care of the rest.

–Travis

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